to imago dei despite being so very exhausted

"Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, the one who broke down the great wall of amenity and gave me His name. How gracious is my Redeemer, King Jesus, the Son of the Highest. What could I possibly give to you, but the fragrance of my hallelujah, hallelujah."

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

"God of mercy, sweet love of mine. I have surrendered to your design. May this offering stretch across the skies and these hallelujahs be multiplied."

"But God spoke us into being, He poured out the blood of His Son, and He filled us with His Spirit. The depths of God fill the depths of us. He is withholding nothing. He gave us all of Himself. The God of universes gave every piece of Himself for us."

I am not going to lie to you, this semester has completely worn me out and we are only at the beginning of week 6. I have never been more challenged mentally and physically like this before. I am stretched thinner than ever before. And to top it off I feel like a failure. In my classes I feel as if I am not doing enough when countless hours are poured into my work. In my social life I feel like I am neglecting the people I've always cared spending time with. In my quiet times I feel as if I cannot even come close to some sort of connection because there simply isn't time for it. Even now I am haunted by the fact that I should be doing something. Working on something productive, but to be honest with you these breaks of relaxation are the only things keeping me going.
Trust me, I feel so incredibly blessed to be at a school like Bethel that allows me to explore different schools of thought as well as allow my faith to be tested like never before. The fact that I am able to attend a school that my grandmother would only dream of going to is enough to make me feel unworthy of such an opportunity. And yet I am tired. I am run ragged. I do not feel like I should be allowed to have the title of Christian, student, daughter, sister, and friend because I have done nothing to truly honor that title lately.
And yet, even on my very worst days God still sees my value to have sent His son to die for me. I am in such a amazing position of grace that I cannot even fathom what it means to earn that. My small group leader explained it as if God no longer looks at us the way we should be seen, which is filthy by all of our continual sins against Him. He sees Christ's act of love as a filter over us. He only sees Jesus' imagine in us. I was made in the image of God and am seen in Christ's. Brittany, the failure and the most unworthy of grace was made in the image of God, Imago Dei. And you wanna hear something that is just as crazy?! That ever since Christ died for you and me He has been up there praying or us. He is sitting there whispering, singing, wailing, and interceding that we may be transformed even more into the Father's imagine. That we would continually choose Him to chase after. Even when I am at my weakest The Lord sees my value and sees my potential. What kind of love is that? Who am I to worship someone as great as that? I am left in awe.