to missing out
6:19 AM
"I tell you, He will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on earth?" Luke 18:8
"The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God." Psalm 14:2
There was something at Onething that struck me on the first night and has been in the front of my brain since. Now Mike Bickle is quite a fun individual. He is quite well known around the IHOPKC community considering he is the founder of IHOPKC. I love him and all, but his messages are never my favorite. They are never the kind that bring me to my feet and want to spread the gospel as soon as I hear it. So to be honest with y'all I tend to check out when he starts going on. I know, I know I'm a terrible person. Anyways, what is amazing about Mike is that He was called to day and night prayer when he was in his twenties which is why he started IHOPKC to bring primarily young people who feel called, like he was, to 24/7 prayer. That is just something that boggles me about people who are in that lifestyle. Their whole life purpose is to sit and intercede for the kingdom. I wish I was one of those people.
During his message Mike was talking about how he started going and meeting with others to pray and worship day in and day out. He commented on the fact that being a young person is so focused on the whole idea of "not missing out". No one wants to miss out on the fun and good times. He made a stand and called out "Beloved, I was in the prayer room every Friday and Saturday night and I never missed out on a thing!" That is what I've come to realize as I've grown in Christ and in my life circumstances.
In the back of my mind I always wonder about the choices I've made thus far and how my life would've changed otherwise had I chosen a different path.
I grew up in the public school system where Christian friends were few and far between. You begin to rely on your own beliefs and have to learn to be strong in your ability to not be swayed. I absolutely love every single one of my friends, those who go to church and those who claim to be atheist. I am not the judge in their life and I see no reason not to be friends with everyone I can be. This does, however, make it difficult to now join in the seemingly fun times my friends had that included alcohol.
For some reason in high school everyone got to this point where they felt like the only fun to be had with with a bottle in your hand. I never understood this type of fun. I always felt uncomfortable around alcohol, like somehow my mom would know where I was. It was something that was never an issue in my life because I never let it be one. However, having made that decision, it made me feel as if I was different and I was weird in high school. Like something was wrong with me for not wanting to party. Like I was missing out on something.
I believe this is one of the reasons that coming to Bethel was an easy choice. I knew that I wanted to go to a Christian school where the pressure of conforming would no longer be so prevalent (don't get me wrong I know drinking happens at Christian schools, I'm not an idiot. It is just not a part of the culture as it is at some many other schools).Being here just feels so good. For once I feel like I am not the odd man out. I am not strange or a loser because I don't go out and party like the rest of the world. I am finally in this place that makes me feel like who I am is perfectly acceptable. It's so amazing.
Something else has been happening since I finally chose my major last semester. Making a decision about where I wanted my college career to go was scary. To be completely honest as soon as I signed that paper declaring a psychology/sociology double major I felt as if asphalt was poured into my stomach. I was overcome with worry that I was making another bad decision. I went around and smiled to everyone who asked about my major change but inside I was racking my brain just wondering if I was going to fail.
I started to take more psych classes this semester and I am finally in a place where I know that this is where I am meant to be. The other day my professor of Interviewing and People Helping Skills was talking about therapy and just the helping field that we want to be in and I was finally sitting there saying to myself "yeah! This is what I've been looking for! This is where I am meant to be."It was so amazing and peaceful.
This semester is the time in my life where I want to be focused on not only learning more about myself, but about learning my Yahweh. I want to get deeper this year with Him. I want to fall back in love with Him everyday of my life. Now this isn't easy and things in my life are going to fight to take His place. I will not let them. I am finding Brittany and I am finding the Brittany that God has called me to be.
Though my life has no clear answers about my future just yet I am waiting on the Lord. Parts of my heart wonder who I will be one day, what career I will have, who will still be in my life ten years from now, who will I marry, will I have done everything I wanted to? But I am silencing those thoughts. I have been reading Job this month and I have begun to learn that everything in this life is temporary; your job, your wealth, your friends, your health, your family, and your love. No matter how much you work to be the someone you want to be, no matter how much you try to be apart of everything, it can be gone in an instant.
Job was one of the few found blameless. He kept his eyes on God always. Even in his darkest days he never doubted the Lord. The only moments in this life that you are missing out on are the ones when you allow your heart to be pulled left or right. Look into the face of God and there you will know, in that place, is where you were created to be.
I grew up in the public school system where Christian friends were few and far between. You begin to rely on your own beliefs and have to learn to be strong in your ability to not be swayed. I absolutely love every single one of my friends, those who go to church and those who claim to be atheist. I am not the judge in their life and I see no reason not to be friends with everyone I can be. This does, however, make it difficult to now join in the seemingly fun times my friends had that included alcohol.
For some reason in high school everyone got to this point where they felt like the only fun to be had with with a bottle in your hand. I never understood this type of fun. I always felt uncomfortable around alcohol, like somehow my mom would know where I was. It was something that was never an issue in my life because I never let it be one. However, having made that decision, it made me feel as if I was different and I was weird in high school. Like something was wrong with me for not wanting to party. Like I was missing out on something.
I believe this is one of the reasons that coming to Bethel was an easy choice. I knew that I wanted to go to a Christian school where the pressure of conforming would no longer be so prevalent (don't get me wrong I know drinking happens at Christian schools, I'm not an idiot. It is just not a part of the culture as it is at some many other schools).Being here just feels so good. For once I feel like I am not the odd man out. I am not strange or a loser because I don't go out and party like the rest of the world. I am finally in this place that makes me feel like who I am is perfectly acceptable. It's so amazing.
Something else has been happening since I finally chose my major last semester. Making a decision about where I wanted my college career to go was scary. To be completely honest as soon as I signed that paper declaring a psychology/sociology double major I felt as if asphalt was poured into my stomach. I was overcome with worry that I was making another bad decision. I went around and smiled to everyone who asked about my major change but inside I was racking my brain just wondering if I was going to fail.
I started to take more psych classes this semester and I am finally in a place where I know that this is where I am meant to be. The other day my professor of Interviewing and People Helping Skills was talking about therapy and just the helping field that we want to be in and I was finally sitting there saying to myself "yeah! This is what I've been looking for! This is where I am meant to be."It was so amazing and peaceful.
This semester is the time in my life where I want to be focused on not only learning more about myself, but about learning my Yahweh. I want to get deeper this year with Him. I want to fall back in love with Him everyday of my life. Now this isn't easy and things in my life are going to fight to take His place. I will not let them. I am finding Brittany and I am finding the Brittany that God has called me to be.
Though my life has no clear answers about my future just yet I am waiting on the Lord. Parts of my heart wonder who I will be one day, what career I will have, who will still be in my life ten years from now, who will I marry, will I have done everything I wanted to? But I am silencing those thoughts. I have been reading Job this month and I have begun to learn that everything in this life is temporary; your job, your wealth, your friends, your health, your family, and your love. No matter how much you work to be the someone you want to be, no matter how much you try to be apart of everything, it can be gone in an instant.
Job was one of the few found blameless. He kept his eyes on God always. Even in his darkest days he never doubted the Lord. The only moments in this life that you are missing out on are the ones when you allow your heart to be pulled left or right. Look into the face of God and there you will know, in that place, is where you were created to be.
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